Where did I go so wrong?

Ever wished elevators didn’t get to where you were going so fast?

Sigh.

Forget it. She’s got someone else.

Been tossing my head into a self-induced hurricane of sad songs so I can drown out the “omg-we’re-doomed” wails at the back of my mind. Do you know that an “impending sense of doom” is actually a medical term? Should you feel an impending sense of doom, you should consult a physician.

My day was rather messy. The muddle-ment left in my mind after dinner last night lasted throughout today and I marched around campus with a perpetual scowl and furrowed brows. Tonight I shall study for forensic science. Cause I feel like taking a break from animation. =\

Most people yearn for something so unattainable, so inspirational that it takes their breath away. But few have the courage to stand up and get it.

A Quaker Baked Apple Morning

Sometimes… I really hate you.

But I swallow it, grin, root around my bottomless duffel bag of smiles and knick knacks, and pull out another joke for you.

But enough about you. It’s making me nauseous just thinking about it.

Glorious morning despite you. So glorious my body decided (without me nevertheless) to set my alarm clock half an hour later while I was in my exhausted stupor last night. The chirpy rays of the overly exuberant morning sun leaping into my room does little to nothing in chasing away the frustration that is clouding my vision for  the ADM 3 months from now. I need to look further… I have to worry about bigger things… Things like these shouldn’t be on the priority list anymore. That’s why I have briefings, meetings, messaging, warnings, checking, and other such fear-inducing activities that end with “ing”. I have such a long list of items for debrief this year that it rivals the number of pages occupied by the Open House plans.

Disaster control. It’s no longer damage control. How to avert disaster. If I make out of this alive, I shall write such a book.

Now to hustle.

YEAH MAN!!!

FINALLY finished Boo’s short animation. GARH! 400 frames baby!!! BRING IT ON!!!

Should have been longer. I extended it in AfterEffects. Should be 410 frames… But who’s counting? IT’S OVER!!!

Now I can start on my own work which I have gloriously neglecting for the past week. On my plate I have my final character animation (for which I shot the reference video for last night), game design animation and character modeling (plus the vector shader for it), shooting and developing my photography contact sheets, studying for forensic science…

Which reminds me… When IS my forensic science exam?

ah… 15th November…

Tooi is sleeping… I find myself washing her cage increasingly often. She’s a smelly little fuzzy girl. But I love her all the same. =)

I shall mop my floor then get cracking! I’ve got 1.5 hours before going out for dinner. Need time to shower and all…

I need more substantial stuff to type…

Ahh… Last night I attended the Alumni Night! And… Erm. Ya. Ah well. Hmm.

Oh well…

It’s better off this way I suppose. For all parties. Enough messing about already and do your work Huang Yuying!

Million things to do. So little time…

Halloween’s final proposal isn’t in yet. How do I submit it to SAO? Garh.  We’re one week away from event time. Don’t do this to me…

Exams are coming up. I need to do my reference video for my animation. And this weekend will be burnt away doing the 500 pages which I am very sneakily trying to cheat and reduce as much as possible. It is downright scary watching the pile of paper slowly spiral into no-more-ness.

It’s all over the news these days. “The Gay Debate”. On the 22nd of October, Section 377A of the Penal Code was not repealed. In the year 2007, homosexuals in Singapore are still criminals. So some strange reason (for which no one has managed to give me an answer to), women are spared from s377A. Yet the weight of it is not just for the men to bear. We’re all affected by it.

I won’t go into the details of the parliamentary debate since it’s all over the printed and electric news. The 22nd of October has been unofficially marked as Singapore’s National Out Day. We have 1 year to prepare and come next October come out to our families and loved ones.

I guess it doesn’t really apply to me then… Since I came out a good 3 years ago and my family deemed me insane.

Still hurts sometimes when I think about it.

The open letter to the prime minister signed by 8000 individuals drew some attention from the homophobic several in Singapore. A comment left by one of them went:

Poopoomary, signature no. 5427
Homosexuality is wrong, that’s why our God Almighty send AIDS to kill all the gays. AIDS only attack gay people, straight people will never have AIDS.

Right you are. Intelligent being.

Sigh… I simply don’t understand alot of things that go on in the world I’m on the brink of plunging into.

Had Enough Yet?

KTV with Sara, Grace and Candice last night was awesome. Singing my lungs and my worries to shreds of nothingness, leaving them behind that purple door marked 22. I’m not a KTV kinda person, but when it comes to hanging out with my most treasured friends in the world, anything is possible.

Especially dancing on the seats like the people from 183 something. LOL. That was funny.

KTV does bring to mind some thoughts I’d much rather leave behind though. The happy feeling of being with friends lasted all the way to the car where I flopped into the seat and cried in a deserted car park. The drive home was too short and my mind brimming with too many things I just wanted to brush away. I couldn’t even concentrate on my work so I ended up throwing myself into bed and forcing myself into a tumultuous rest.

I don’t know how long this is supposed to last. But I’ve really had enough of it.

I’m getting a haircut on Friday. Was thinking of getting back my mohawk… Lol… I love that hairstyle… It’s so funny…

Nondescript

Once in a while, I get questions like those.

Surprising it came from faculty, but my answer is always the same.

“I don’t know.”

It seems like an open secret throughout ADM. A secret even I cannot fully ascertain. I don’t know what happened either. Did anything even happen to begin with? Not a clue.

Stop thinking so much. What’s past is past.

Whatever makes you happy.

Choices, Decisions, and Consequences

The Year 3 animators are all having academic advisement this week.

After the sit down with Mark and letting him in on my grand Non-Existent Special Effects Course plan, he strongly suggested that I take subjects that train my aesthetic eye. Subjects like

Digital Film Production

Experimental Photography

Aha.

I can take one or the other, but not both. I have little to no interest in wearing myself bone thin. Now… Decisions decisions decisions. If I take digital film production (which I’m secretly really interested in), I already see portions of my life flashing past my eyes. On the other hand, I’ve been on a good number of film shoots as it is, so I know what it’s like to be on set. But on set holding my own script, directing my own story, realizing these words I stamped all over those rumpled sheets? I don’t think so. But then again… Do I really need that?

Experimental photography. Mark assures me that I’ll learn oodles from Shannon and her amazing eye. Sounds kinda funny when I say it like that. Resembles a name of a comic hero – SHANNON AND HER AMAZING EYE!!! But really, she’s an awesome teacher. And I would love to take her class. To go down the path of special effects, I would really need to understand light, space, composition. And taking the next step in the photography series would be a step in the right direction.

I’ll need to make a choice soon since it’ll definitely affect the time table of my animation subjects… Sigh… I wish I had someone to ask..

Stocking up my chocolate stash for the entire long week of animating up ahead. I can smell the heady, thick aroma of 500 sheets of paper and pencil scratchings calling to me. From now till Friday will be animating. The weekend will be for scanning and editing. Perfect. Though it kills my weekend. Not to mention I still have that alumni night dinner to attend on Sunday evening… GARH…

I feel so unhealthy. I need to jog.

Neglected photos

Some uploaded photos I didn’t post…

First thing I played on my record player? By The Way by Red Hot Chili Peppers. =D

Eva Cassidy – my favorite record for now.

Joshua came over! He can walk now. =)

Gah… I’m really tired. My entire weekend was burnt out and I feel like I haven’t done any work at all (and yet I find time to blog). Today will be very hectic. Hannes just sent out an email recommending Sound Design and Writing for Film for animation students. And my academic advisement is later today at 2.15… Gah… I was deciding between those 2 subjects and illustration for designers. My timetable for next semester looks painfully empty.

Yesterday was Boo’s shoot. The worst smelling one by far. Aside from the usual sweat and all, we had to handle pig brain, liver and heart. And I had to burn out 8 cigarettes. I smelled like the bottom of something unspeakably nasty at the end of it. Not to mention I didn’t have time to shower and my parents brought us to a fish market for dinner. After which I ran back to shoot only to be blasted by more cigarette smoke and the foul stale noxious fumes of the smoke machine.

Garh.

I smell like crap.

Cat got my tongue

ARGH.

WHY YING WHY?!?!?! OF ALL THE TIMES TO PRETEND TO FIDDLE WITH YOUR PHONE?! SHE WAS RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF YOU! GARH. INCORRIGIBLE!

Smile and say hi… It’s as simple as that… Why is it so difficult?!

Garh… Ying you’re so chicken shit.

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