The Options of the Optionless

I’ve had a good 3 weeks of freedom now, having completed my degree and with no immediate plans (or at least, none that are set in stone). Feels rather floaty, waking up in the same foggy haze that I fell asleep in, going through the day eyes charged with the same pointless gaze till they close again. Now that the excitement of freedom has worn off, only sheer sepulchral boredom remains, showing me with very little effort at all that this is what it is like to be a zombie.

I’ve started on studying Social Studies again to help tutor Yuan in preparation for the dreaded exams later this year. It’s a whole easier going now I’m not at the business end of the O Level knife. I’m endeavoring to finish the entire syllabus (inclusive of question answering techniques) in 9 weeks (with two sessions a week, that brings it to 18 sessions in total). This would leave me with another 2 weeks before his prelims to tie up any loose ends.

I haven’t tutored in FOREVER.

Forever sounds long, but in today’s context, it barely covers a year.

Especially with all these people running amok, flinging around like confetti, deluging unsuspecting passersby in a torrent of “whoopee!”.

The sanctity of “forever” has been reduced to a “maybe we should sit down and talk about this”.

Which brings me to something I was discussing with Sara Tan the other day. What of these fairy tales, still implanting delusional theories of love and romance and happily-ever-afters in the impressionable minds of your young? Girls (and some boys) grow up to become women (or men), heady with subconscious dreams of a knight (who may or may not be a man) on a white steed/motor vehicle/transportation device, sweeping them off to a happily ever after in some castle. Or mansion. Or terrace house. Or government flat. Perhaps it is these very seeds of things-that-will-probably-never-come-to-pass that are the cause of unhappiness when said women (or men) do not find their happy ending.

Let’s get to writing some real stories. Ones with realistic endings. Like having the prince and Snow White go back to their grand castle, only to find out after a couple of dates that it isn’t going to work out because he has unresolved issues with his family, leading to a nasty teary breakup. Or Prince Charming realizing that Cinderella has an insatiable shopping addiction and squanders away fortunes on gowns she will only wear till midnight and shoes she tends to forget while leaving a party. Or Beauty finding out the castle she now lives in is littered with decades of furballs.

Something along those lines.

According to Xuan’s economics lectures, persons who are unwilling to find work cannot be listed as unemployed. They are simply cut out of the equation due to their lack of name and tendency to ruin the numbers. Perhaps the term “self employed by a really bad employer” is a more accurate description instead of “    “.

So, my last week was pretty spectacular for a self employed by a really bad employer person. I did get to finally meet Dr Chow and talk to her about my concerns about medical schools and the career path of a healthcare professional. And it was the first time anyone’s heard my reason for why I wanted to pursue this rather ludicrous sounding dream of mine.

If I had known she was a medical school interviewer, I wouldn’t have said anything…….

But after pouring out my heart and naiveté onto her and her lunch, she said she was convinced.

And I’m a much happier camper.

Today I heard of another case from a distant aunt of mine whom I was meeting for the first time today. Her daughter was accepted into medical school despite her really dismal grades.

Little bits of info like these make me that little bit more hopeful of getting into medical school next year.

But what if I don’t? What then?

I’m not entirely sure, to be brutally honest. My ultimate goal remains unchanged, but the pathways to it wind deeper and deeper into muck and thick undergrowth of confusion and pandering about. My choices stand as follow:

1. Sit for the GAMSAT again
And hope for a better score. And in the mean time, take up some part time work here or there while doing some voluntary work at the hospitals (though my mom isn’t too keen about it now that H1N1 is going about)

2. Take up a graduate diploma in Science or Biotechnology
It’s a 1 year course in Melbourne University and covers all the course prerequisites for the Melbourne MD to be opened in 2011. I’ve just sent an email to them to verify if a) I am eligible for that course to begin with, and b) if courses done there can count towards subject prereqs. If it’s a green light for both those questions, then it might not be too bad a next move if I don’t get into med school next year.

3. Sit the MCAT again in June and apply for Duke NUS
Really really really not sure if I should do this. It’s a 4 year intensive course with it’s clinical year (oddly enough) placed in the second year and not the third or final year like other medical schools I’ve read about. I would very much like to focus on the clinical side… The research year might kill me…

4. Join the SCDF as a paramedic for 3k a month
Okay… I’m making that up. I did email them to ask how much the entry pay would be in the paramedic career path given that I have a degree (degree holders can get 3k entry pay with the qualifications I currently hold, I think) but the pay for paramedics on the site is listed only up to poly diploma and A levels. With a 1.5 year training period and a 2 year bond after that, it’s more or less the option if I’m giving up on med school.

Depending on what happens this October, we might spend a really really really long time apart.

=(

Sigh…

Let’s go skiing!