10 more hours

Before I call Monash again to check on the status of my results.

The lady on the phone on Tuesday told me the ranked list of international students just came out so results should be out this week.

Part of me already knows what result I am (or should be) getting. But this sliver of hope that remains is just killing me. Literally. I haven’t been able to function properly for over two weeks now, and in their desperation to get me back to some semblance of a normal life, my parents have given me other options to consider. Law was one of them. Surprising, knowing how much my mom detests lawyers.

But I think my path ahead is beginning to manifest itself is much higher definition as the days tick by. Now my choice is between an ACCA or UOL BSc. in Accounting and Finance.

I can’t even read the forums anymore without feeling this horrid pang of heartache.

I feel so weak. And I hate myself for it.

Everyone would be so much happier if I just took accounting and went along with it. Cheaper. Shorter. More tangible results.

I can always be a doctor in my next life, right?

I wish someone could hold my hand through this. But I know there will be just me tomorrow. Me and my phone in an empty house. Waiting to hear the answer I already know.