A SHORT HISTORY OF MEDICINE: “Doctor, I have an ear ache.”
2000 B.C. – “Here, eat this root.”
1000 B.C. – “That root is heathen, say this prayer.”
1850 A.D. – “That prayer is superstition, drink this potion.”
1940 A.D. – “That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill.”
1985 A.D. – “That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic.”
2000 A.D. – “That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!”
———
When a panel of doctors was asked to vote on adding
a new wing to their hospital, the Allergists voted
to scratch it and the Dermatologists advised not to
make any rash moves.
The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling
about it, but the Neurologists thought the
administration had a lot of nerve, and the
Obstetricians felt they were all laboring under a
misconception.
The Ophthalmologists considered the idea
shortsighted; the Pathologists yelled, ‘Over my dead
body’, while the Pediatricians said, ‘Oh, Grow up!’
The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was
madness, the Radiologists could see right through
it, and the Surgeons decided to wash their hands of
the whole thing.
The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to
swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said, ‘This puts a
whole new face on the matter.’
The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but
the Urologists felt the scheme wouldn’t hold water.
The Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a
gas and the Cardiologists didn’t have the heart to
say no.
In the end, the Proctologists left the decision up to some pain in the “you know what” in administration
———–
Three blondes are walking through the forest. They come upon some tracks.
The first blonde says, “They’re deer tracks.”
The second blonde says, “They’re bear tracks.”
The third blonde says, “They’re moose tracks.”
Then a train hits them.
